Friday, August 28, 2009
queer, guide the sheep
life, has changed so much within the past year of my life, i dont know where to start..
not like anyone follows anyway..
just that sometimes, what you have inside, needs to come out..
why?
because misery loves company.
well, here's something i know, i dont know whether im happy with myself.
life has come to a point such that, i want to go back in time, like build a time machine or what not.. when we were younger, we always thought growing up was cool, now, we-, i, am not wanting to grow up anymore.. i feel ive lost my childhood with the turn of an eye.
and i tell myself time and again, things happen for a reason..
i mean, do they?
then tell me the reason for the person i am now, why am i like that? why is everything like that?
dont you wish you could just wake up, to find yourself back where things didnt really matter? and all that mattered was just that one thing, just that..
but then again, who is to know? what happens if, the thing that actually mattered, didnt in time to come? would i still be where i am today?
i dont know, so i need an answer..
but, i dont know if i should get one
A man doesnt eat his omelet without breaking eggs
a short reminiscence of the pass:
- i was asking the room why you were crying
- no one knew and i was dying to know, maybe, i could help
- nothing happened, i said a hi
- i didnt talk to you on a whole trip where we sat on opposite seats, that was funny, now that i think about it..
- weeks went by, months, went by, i had the guts for everything, but i used it for nothing..
- something spilled from my mouth the other time, "whats the most important thing to you in life", they ask, and, there it went.. well, sigh, is it? was it?
- time rolled by not waiting for me as i recalled, and twist and turns forbid anything to happen..
was that, for a reason i wonder? what was that course my life took? is it, better?
- i became, or rather, now i knew, i became, a nuisance after a while, a burden..
- time flew, getting me into more holes i blindly walked into.. till a door shining so bright..
- would only to close because another door with seemingly greater rewards tempted me, well, temptation gets the best of everyone, only to lead everyone to a more miserable life..
- well, i blew it, everything that shone upon me i refused to claim..
- i tried to redeem myself, a couple of times as a matter of fact, coupons dont last forever see..
- my folly, and i continue, getting myself into door after door, hole after hole, till i found the right key, or so i think is the right key..
- is it? and so the old door i see is left ajar, either welcoming my presence or taunting me in for a greater kill, everything happens for a reason, and ive realized, sometimes, the reason doesnt necessarily have to be good.. in fact, more than half the time, it isnt..
Not all that shines is silver, not all that glitters is gold, not all hot irons are opportunites..
with this free time of mine, i lay back, enjoy, ponder, and calculated my losses, / wins.. and ask God for direction, because i fear i am lost, and have been for a long time, though i may seem to know the way.. well, life has changed, its no longer how it once was..
so queer, and, so different..
its raining now, what a way to dampen the mood..
may tomorrow be a shiny, brighter, glittery, and warmer day.. because it seems better to know the painful truth, than to be unknowningly lied to..
an apple a day, keeps the doctor away
2:41 AM
care to share? (0)
take a bite here!
